2017 for me was all about asking myself what was important to my life. As I went through the year, I began to element things that were distracting me. Time seem to be passing me by and my daydreams were becoming ghost haunting me. I felt powerless and because of that my creativity suffered. I found myself making the same type of work, using all my tricks and short cuts. I became bored at my own creativity. When I would try and blog, it was like like hitting a block every time. I felt like I no longer had anything to share.
I was sick of reading inspirational books, and hearing, “You can become a better you” and “Be yourself.” (Which one is it?) When I went on a trip to San Francisco I found this book about leaving your creative mark on the world. Everything that was shared I had heard a hundred times, but this time because I heard it so much I finally stopped reading and asked myself, “Are you finally going to move and make something or are you just going to keep on reading about it.”
I was getting annoyed that I wasn’t acting on my ideas. I knew if I allowed this to pass me by, I would allow the next idea to leave, and doing so, would create this horrible cycle of killing my creativity.
As a kid, I was shy in front of strangers. At home I was alive, laughing, and enjoyed making my family laugh. The moment a stranger walked into the room, I would stop and disappear. I thought they would think I was crazy or strange. It wasn’t until I saw my uncle who had a hard life, laughed at my 4th of July skit when I was 8. I realized making people smile and happy for a moment, was rewarding. When my uncle passed years later, his laugh came to my memory, and to this day I can still remember it.
Ever since I saw I was able to make my uncle laugh, I knew I had a gift I could share with the world.
Today, I create work for a living that moves and inspires others, but with the ability to hind.
Finally, I decided to act on my daydream and create a youtube channel. I had officially ran out of excuses. It wasn’t easy getting in front of the camera and talking. In fact, I filmed myself three times before I posted a video. Creating videos for other people I knew how to capture their voice, but my own I found it more difficult to navigate through. Can I be myself on my channel? Can I talk about God? Can I share the hard times? Can I just share what I’m thinking? I’m still figuring out my voice but find as each passing episode, I am getting better at sharing my true self.
I know I don’t blog as much, doesn’t seem like anyone reads this anymore, but for those of you who do, I will keep writing for you. The new medium is youtube, its where people are listening and searching. I debated if I should keep my blog or just do away with it. But as I am writing now and sharing with you, this blog might be good to share my thoughts behind the scenes. Is it worth $40 dollars to renew? haha.
You can subscribe to Moniemuse